The coincidence!

That I found this right

...

...after I posted my earlier article..! :D

No such thing as coincidence?!

Coincidence - a remarkable concurrence of events or circumstances without apparent causal connection.

Is it random or is it the hand of God? Am I making too much of it? Don't know yet...
My most thought-provoking brush with coincidence happened years ago.. when I still had an impressionable mind... seeing, hearing, & trying to believe... Somewhere near my teens. It was a rainy afternoon & I was at my mom's place. My aunt, who happens to be a nun, was with us that day. She is the really pious kind. I mean, one of those genuinely religious people I know. She believes in sacrifice & one of her ways with sacrifice was to give up any kind of joy. Even the joy she got from meeting her parents. So she had decided to leave that day after a short visit & it was raining heavily. The place we were in is the kind that gets marooned after heavy rains .. and marooned we were on that day with no way for her to get back to her convent. For one moment, she surveyed her surroundings, had a slightly worried look.. & then said, "God show me a way". Within 2 minutes, a boat came our way (in the canal in front of the house). The oarsman really had no plan of coming that way he said but he just ended up coming there!! All of us were in shock but not Sister Aunty. She said, "I knew God would show me a way" - convinced why the boat & oarsman were there at that moment!
Another example, was my great grandfather lying on his death bed for a few days & specifically asking my grandfather 'what date is it tomorrow?'- which was the date on which he died... as if he knew.. Was it a mere coincidence or was he aware of greater things..??
These are people of extreme faith I'm talking about... but let me talk about ordinary, insignificant me! I'm not that religious... not that deep into my faith... its more of a convenience & a habit that drives me to faith very often ... barring few inexplicable moments. This particular point in time of my life that still has an impact on me was when my wedding was fixed... I was so naïve.. I was lost! I had no idea what I wanted. I did not know if i wanted to get married & I had no idea whether the man I met was the one - was I convinced or was I not? I was just not sure. Instead of inky-pinky, I just opened the bible. Its our faith that the right verse always catches our eye. What I read there in the bible that day changed my life. What I read was this: "His name is John"... yes the verse where Zachariah's faith is restored & he reveals the name of his son that the Lord had revealed to him. Mere coincidence that this man I had met to be married off to was christened 'John'? Hard to believe! But that is the moment that made me stop doubting & take up life with my husband. Whether he is the right one for me or not,  my belief is that he is apparently the one destined for me - for whatever reason!!
Coincidence or not, I will never know for sure, but there is divine intervention. I'd like to believe it. I may not be strong in my faith but I know that we are guided every step of the way. Good or bad - as it may seem, we cannot fully comprehend what's happening. We're in a place where we know of microbes & of our gigantic earth which itself is just a microbe or lesser in the universe.


One of my favorite stories summarizes it I guess:


"This legend was well-known in the Middle Ages, but has no grounding in anything that St. Augustine himself wrote or preached.

The scene is the seashore, where there is a small hole dug in the sand by a little boy with a seashell. St. Augustine , clad in his episcopal robes, was walking, pondering with  difficulty the mystery of the Most Holy Trinity. “Father, Son, Holy  Spirit; three in one!” he muttered, shaking his head.
As  he approached the little boy who was running back and forth between the  sea and the tiny hole with a seashell of water, Augustine craned his neck  and asked him: “Son, what are you doing?”
“Can’t you see?” said the boy. “I’m emptying the sea into this hole!”
“Son,  you can’t do that!” Augustine countered.
“I will sooner empty the sea  into this hole than you will manage to get the mystery of the Most Holy  Trinity into your head!”
Upon  saying that, the boy, who was an angel - according to legend, quickly  disappeared, leaving Augustine alone with the mystery of the Most Holy  Trinity."

We are mere mortals. Most of reality is beyond comprehension. I believe... in divinity, in a world beyond comprehension and in a divine reason for every happening of my life - be it apparent or not!

Free falling

I'm flying in the dark..
aimlessly...
Not knowing
what's in my destiny...
And then I see brightness..
I see what I want...
Desire consumes me...
I need you now!
You are my destiny
and I can see you beckon me!
I rush in..
Its getting warmer
but it's also getting brighter...
I endure the heat
to be one with light..
Its unbearable... but I want more...
Until I'm one with you & I'm no more.
You have consumed me.
But that is my destiny.
After all, what else should a moth do..
but fly into your arms, light, & be one with you..?

Flowery Memory

Like music transports you into a different era of your life & invokes feelings (very often nostalgic) of some of the times gone by, there are some flowers that have the same effect on me. They remind me of the different personalities I've had... of different weird thoughts I had... & of my thoughts on life in general. Some of them make me laugh while some put me in deep deep thought.... I wonder if the best time is already gone!

So here's one of my favorite flowers.

No idea what its called. I used to admire them on the way back home from school. They were on a couple of fences that protected  some beautiful bungalows. I loved its color, I loved its simplicity. It was a time when we were learning about stamen & stigma in school. This flower made it so easy to understand. We learnt about pollination & I did my part in transferring the white pollen onto the black stigma. I was helping I thought! :) Ah well! Pollination brings a lot of memories on different levels. It made me question for the first time what the human equivalent of it was!! Nobody will believe the extent of my stupidity if I even told you that I put across this question to my dad of all people! I still remember the conversation.... I explained the whole process of pollination & my dad was proud of his daughter's learning abilities ... until I asked 'so how does it happen in humans then?'. My dad's eyes almost popped out of his eye-sockets. I still remember his expression. I knew something was wrong. He called out to my mom who was in the kitchen & she came out in the midst of all the cooking mess she was in. He said 'your daughter wants to know how it happens in humans'! She had a shy smile on her face, didn't utter a word, & went straight back in. In hindsight... I wish the earth had engulfed me then & there!

I really had no clue. I was so scared of 'human pollination' that I wondered if sitting down where some other guy sat would get me pregnant!! Hilarious for anyone who hears this, but not for someone who has lived through that! And of course, oddly enough, this pollination seemed to be successful only when people got married. Some mystery!!

It took many many more years before I actually figured out that mystery! I didn't know if it was yuck or worth experimenting.


Anyway, coming back to flowers...here's another one.

I call it my Christmas bell. Its of course named something else - cypress red vine... or something. It grew in abundance in my mom's house. I just loved looking at it. Endless days of school vacations on the corridor of my mom's beautiful ancestral home... where I would ponder about life's mysteries... & I would look at this flower & feel one with nature. I noticed it more during Christmas I guess... which is why it has registered as the Christmas bell in my mind.

And here's another flower that came in so handy during our 'house-house' adventures.

When I played the 'wife'...& of course, wives had to cook. So that's what the house-house game was always about. Cooking! Cooking with whatever was available... mud,leaves, flowers... & make as many different mixes of colors as possible! Coconut shells for vessels too. This flower was the carrot! :) The 'carrot flower'!!

O! And here's one flower that's remembered more for academic reasons - strangely... because that doesn't happen often to me.

Its the clitoria!!! Back then I was too naive to know that that almost sounds like a part of the female anatomy but we kept saying 'clitoria' whenever we saw it anywhere!! Too embarrassed about that now! I didn't really notice how common this flower was until I actually had to study about it for biology. Have seen a red & also a white variant of it but of course the purple or blue one is the one we picked up for study & it's what I find most beautiful. Also called butterfly pea incidentally. Whenever I see this flower, it transports me to the awesome biology classes I had & that one teacher who made me fall in love with Biology. Her kind of poise & demeanor I have not seen in anyone else. Her name defines her! Peace! I wish I could be like her.. at least 1%!

The railway track flowers!

I saw them more near railway tracks ... & they have beautiful colorful berries too. They were the weeds that people didn't want... thorny bushes that were a nuisance... but those flowers! Beautiful flowers. I love seeing them... not just because they are beautiful, but also because they remind me of those awesome train journeys to Kerala. I didn't have a care in the world. Just super excited about the impending vacation fun. I also have a poster of my sweetheart RD posing in front of those flowers!!!! I love him for doing that photo shoot! :D

And finally,

this is one flower that amazed me the couple of times I saw it. I have seen it only 2 or may be 3 times in my entire life. It was the time when I was living my childhood dream of carefree existence. Just be! Not a care in the world. I would wander in our colony & I still remember the first time I saw it on the side of the road. Just a solitary flower in the grass. Nothing like I had ever seen before. Pure beauty! To imagine it was just lying in the grass!! I didn't feel like plucking it even. It was almost a year later when I saw it the next time ... again somewhere in the grass. It amazed me that such a beautiful flower could grow in the grass. The pure fantasy it brought out in me, makes this a very special flower & I will never forget that first moment my sight fell on it.


By the way, I'm not really a 'garden person'... you know, someone who will tend to a garden & nurture it with tender loving care. I hate filth & I don't have the patience. I'm more...selfish. If I really get my hands dirty, then my effort has to pay off. So if I ever do indulge in gardening, then it will be for fruits & veggies. Having said that, there is really something to a beautiful garden of flowers... That vision from 'Just like heaven'comes to mind ever so often. Its just so peaceful to even think of it... Hmm... anyway, I will decide the day I have some land & I have to get into gardening! Until then, I'm happy keeping my hands clean.

"Luke 12:27-28 - Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; but I tell you, not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these"

Irony of life

Damn it girl!

Get a move on!!


For all the - strong women don't need anyone else to define them - belief... what are u afraid of???


So really, Miss goody-two-shoes, what bothers you more? The fact that you wont have free access to him or that he's now happy with someone else?? Pure Evil!!


Live & let live! Follow your dreams... find a way to do it. Stop depending! Stop cribbing! If you're really strong, figure a way out yourself!

Addicted!

Addiction is a state characterized by compulsive engagement in rewarding stimuli, despite adverse consequences. It can be thought of as a disease or biological process leading to such behaviors. The two properties that characterize all addictive stimuli are that they are reinforcing (i.e., they increase the likelihood that a person will seek repeated exposure to them) and intrinsically rewarding (i.e., something perceived as being positive or desirable).

Treatment:
The treatment is focused on enabling the patient from abstaining from drugs of any form and under any conditions for the rest of their life. This is done by way of initially detoxifying the patient.

Withdrawal symptoms:
1. The unpleasant physical reaction that accompanies the process of ceasing to take an addictive drug.
2. Abnormal physical or psychological features that follow the abrupt discontinuation of a drug that has the capability of producing physical dependence. In example, common opiates withdrawal symptoms include sweating, goose bumps, vomiting, anxiety, insomnia, and muscle pain.

............

           ...I cant breathe..

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