Riddance

One Call too far away

Charlie Puth is a common favorite at home & kids have this song on repeat...

Great song but it irks me a bit each time I hear it. I mean... "Alexa play one call away"... & my heart kind of just tugs at me to say "Ugh no"! The stupid guy wrote lyrics that describe my one-call-away who's no longer my one-call-away.... someone whom I had to physically tear myself apart from the day I realized that the person was not one call away any more. Universe, let me be. Don't make it more difficult than it already is!

Ho ente Rajappo!!!

Watched this awesome movie during Christmas break and it turned out to be one of the most entertaining movies I've watched in recent times. Sure there are some loose ends but the fun, joy, excitement and idea of it all! It just gave me pure joy! I was grinning from ear to ear for the entire time of the movie... & then some more!!

Suraaj is an amazing actor with amazing talent but somehow the presence that Prithviraj has on screen - it is unmatched. You can love to hate him, but you cannot ignore him. He may be a showoff & at times brazen, but he is a brilliant actor and an awesome orator. Love to listen to his interviews no matter how much I'm told he's fake. Most of the times he says just the right things - whether he means it or not! I mean, how many of us are actually speaking the truth a 100% of the time we open our mouths. Take a job interview for example!!!

And his genes!! His dad was just as brilliant and so is his brother. The three are pure talent .. but I guess Sukumaran & Indrajit haven't got their due recognition unlike the luckier Raju. I love all 3 of them!

PS has this ability to create a depth in his scenes - no matter how insignificant the scene. There was this scene in driving licence where he says goodbye to his wife. Not very significant in the overall movie but the depth he adds... the way he looks at her... the look of a tortured man!! Absolute brilliance. He doesn't even have to utter a word!!

I can go on and on. But I'll stop here with this one song. I love the way he emotes for romantic scenes & it just seems so genuine. So close to what I have seen IRL (tongue in cheek).

TMI

My lil brigade had this song on repeat mode last summer. Blame Spiderman! My little N (nephew - or read son born from a sister-womb) is fascinated with all things spidey. Downside: a beautiful song lost its sheen.

Now, after a break, I chanced upon it and I'm learning to fall in love with it again.

Which makes me think there's soooooo much content out there. Whatever we have now - songs, pics... its not relevant in a couple of days! We're the fast-food-generation thanks to all this digitization. Cant really hold on to anything for too long... not even thoughts. Unlike the more stable last gen. I mean my dad still listens to his favorite songs of the 60's.

I love this old woman for setting this example.

I sometimes hit the pause button & look at old pics. Not so old actually. Just from about 13 to 5 or 6 years ago..... relive those moments. I was telling the husband that time is passing too soon & I miss those days. He uttered some golden words (he doesn't do that often but has me completely dumbstruck on such occasions. Don't know where he hides the wisdom the rest of the time). He said "in a few years from now you will miss this time. So enjoy what you have".

Reaffirms something deep down. My defense mechanism might just not be too bad after all. More about that in another post.  

Eclipsed

Something as simple as a solar eclipse got me thinking... Not even a full eclipse and the whole earth around us changed. It was beautiful … just what one sun & one moon can do! … and how insignificant our lives / our existence probably is! 

Just yesterday my li'l one was asking me about grandparents, great grandparents and great-great-grandparents. But even with the collective memory of my parents & I, we couldn't really even list out details for more than 2 earlier generations.

So, of course, I'd be lucky if my children think of me beyond my time on this planet. After that I will probably cease to even be a distant memory!

That time of the year... I hate saying good byes... & hence melancholic!

Thank you 2019 for being kind!

O so Ooooold!

So my earlier post brings me to this next post. Yes I belong to that long gone era. I'm old... & getting older.
So there are several stages in getting old and its slowly unravelling. If Im lucky to be alive long enough, I may some day be able to jot down all the stages - but for now I can cover the following stages that I have experienced.

1. The 'aunty' stage: I know I will always be a child at heart. I may not show it to all...  or at all times to even the people who know the child in me, but I just feel like a child trapped in an old person's body! So with that mindset especially, when some random person called me 'Aunty' for the first time - it hit hard! After my experience I was able to identify this pain as it occurred in other women as well. When you have always been referred to as the 'little one' or at max a didi or chechi, 'aunty' can be quite shocking. But this stage almost always happens only to women and almost always keeps the person in denial about their increasing age.

2. The first grey: I remember my mom pointing out that I had greys and I did not believe her. I blamed her eyesight. So she proved her point by plucking it out for me and handing me the evidence. I broke down. The next couple of years were spent by my parents trying to find me solutions for 'premature greying'... knowing fully well that it wasn't premature. This continued till the day dad suggested I use this oil that would help premature greys and I responded 'yeah - it may help premature greys; not mine'. He laughed his heart out. And that was the end of that!
So the 2nd stage definitely helps in breaking the denial and brings in the acceptance phase. It was especially hard on me because my hair was the only part of me that I truly loved - and given how low my self esteem & self acceptance was, it was quite a hard hit.

3. The kids in office: So this was visible for many years in office. The crowd around me keeps getting younger. I know they are younger but how much younger … I try and not focus on it. So this third stage hit me like a bomb today. A guy in my team was talking to me and he asked me where I stay, if I own the place and how long I've been there. So I told him that I have been staying there for close to 15  years. He had an expression of shock on his face. He then asked me which years I did my graduation .. & when I answered him, he says 'O! I was in school at that time'! So much for making my day! Welcome to stage 3!

That era!..

Yup! You certainly need to belong to 'that' era to identify with this! <3