Izzu! @kunchacks

Some stories bring you so much happiness even if they are not really connected to you. Chackochan was one of the first chocolate boys in Malayalam cinema & I crushed on him like most of the mallu female population. So much so, that after my wedding, my husband used to put Chackochan down every opportunity he got. “He’s really short!”…. “Terrible acting” … “What’s wrong with you?”… “What do you see in him?” LOL. I got to know later that after Chackochan’s first hit even my hubby had got the same bike he had in the movie. So just imagine the kind of influence this guy had on all of us!!

I also had this personal connection (I told myself its an important connection :D) that his mom & my mom studied in the same college at the same time. She was one the most popular & beautiful girls in college at that time & she cut short her education once her marriage was fixed, I’m told. Somehow this information, along with the fact that he’s from the same place that my parents are from, made  me create this impression in my brain that I had a personal connection. 

Chackochan broke many hearts by marrying his sweetheart. But since we all love him so much, we wished him all the happiness in the world. But as fate would have it, they did not have any kids for long & this actually caused heartache for so many of us. Those genes with that kind of talent & those looks could have produced such wonderful offspring!! Also, this man deserves happiness!

& so it happened after all these years that Chackochan & Priya were blessed with Izahaak! Izza, you will not believe how relieved & truly, truly happy so many of us are because of you!! Mallu-dom actually erupted in joy because of you. I have never seen so much of genuine joy all because of one tiny person! You are truly blessed! My heart is full when I see you Izzu!

Faith... or the lack of it!

I’m suddenly feeling a little low. Under the weather but that’s not it. I just got to know that the leader of my country prevented the leader of my faith from visiting my country. This news will obviously never make it to any media outlet. It saddens me that this is the country I live in – where I’m questioned for my faith & where I’m not on par with the majority religion. I have NEVER in my life looked at another person of a different faith (or the lack of it) as different. Shouldn’t it just be one of your many interests that you choose to follow (or not follow) any particular faith? Yet I have so many friends in my community (both virtual & otherwise) who say that their religion is superior and they have been oppressed and they are happy that the current power is pro-their religion. This has been happening for quite a bit now. It pains me that educated people who have travelled & have seen the world around them do not understand petty politics... that they don't consider the good relationships that they have had with people of different faith & can say it to their face - & that too without any remorse! If anybody propagates intolerance because of their faith, then they are only not understanding their faith right - because I believe no religion teaches intolerance. 

Today I can’t even say the word beef. Have I ever questioned anyone for being vegan? Why do all these pseudo-religious then proceed to go & stay in countries where beef is eaten?

I’m never going to renounce my faith! In fact, such things are only going to make me stronger in my faith. And I will continue to pray for all of those who think that they are superior because of their faith. Because at the end of the day, death doesn’t spare anyone because of the practice of any faith – or the lack of it. So lets hope our sin doesn’t get the better of us.

Survival

Movie Marathon

I had this sudden urge to jot down all the movies I’ve been watching because there are some gems that I caught!!

There was some really good cinema I watched in the last year. By this I don’t mean that I haven’t watched bad cinema at all. But when you watch a LOT of movies and the percentage of good movies is greater than 60-70%, I think that’s a good success rate.

The way Malayalam cinema has progressed is beyond admirable. I’m so proud to be part of this state that has not just produced such exceptional talent in such large numbers, but has also recognized this talent. It’s a time when even supporting actors to supporting actors are noticed!! And the music!!!! Its to die for. I just go to Saavn & open the current Malayalam play list & every song is a pleasure to listen to.

While I did catch up on other languages too, Malayalam still stands out as the dominant percentage.

Here’s a list of some that I watched over the last couple of years – not in any particular order but I will put Malayalam first:

MALAYALAM:

Kumbalangi Nights: The preview & plot really did not entice me & it really isn’t my kind of movie to be honest. I watched it only because of the rave reviews. I’m so glad I did. What a beauty!!! & the climax! I did not know whether to laugh or to be scared! Fahadh!!! You’re an absolute gem & the best thing that happened to Mollywood! Thank u! Who else could make us love a villain more?!

Varathan: Fahadh again & he cannot go wrong. A little too tacky/overdone at the end .. but I’ll still take it. Totally worth my money. And I’m beginning to warm up to Aishwarya Lakshmi. I was jumping in my seat during the second half :D

Athiran: Fahadh. I feel like that's all there is to be mentioned!! This one is copied from a couple of English movies but it was ok.

Vijay Superum Pournamiyum: Asif Ali & Aishwarya Lakshmi keep it real & engaging. Not too bad

Uyare: I hate serious movies & this of an acid attack victim - not my cup of tea. I almost missed this gem. Asif as villain was such a beauty while Tovino never ceases to entertain. I know I should mention Parvathi here but some people are so brilliant that you get so used to it and stop noticing it. Its a given!

Luca: Decent love story. Tovino was good as expected. Aahana – expected better.. but ok.

Virus: How can they manage to keep a crowd enthralled with a documentary?! But they did it! I was so happy to learn about Kerala govt’s competence handling Nipah.

Ishq: Shane Nigam! So proud of this young guy. The only unfortunate thing is that his supremely talented dad died without seeing either his own success or the success of his son. The movie is just about Ok. Even the new comer Ann Sheetal was ok-ok. The movie started well & the 2^nd half was a bit too unreal. But entertainment quotient was still good. Above average movie for sure.

Joseph: O what a gem! Joju George progressed from being in the background to being the hero… all while being everything a usual movie hero is not. I watched this movie at least 5 times in the process of playing it for our visitors but I never got bored. The suspense is nothing like we’ve seen before.

Mera Naam Shaji: Decent entertainment. Laughed so much. Helped relieve my PMS blues.

Allu ramendran: Entertaining & gripping! I’m glad Chackochan is getting some of his movies right. Varnyathil aashanka was another gem that he did. But at the end of the day Kunchacko Boban is always close to my heart. & this is his year! All of us adore you Izahaak!

Aadhi: Pranav Mohanlal – I had so many expectations from you since you’ve been acting from your childhood & you’re the son of a star. You somehow remind me of my bil too. So I cant not love you. The movie was super in spite of your acting but o! do you have a long way to go before we accept you as an actor!!

Njan prakashan: Fahadh! 😊

Theevandi: Tovino! 😊 A movie about a ciggy addict! And yet I liked it!! Very original concept. Worth a watch. 

Other mentions:

Vaarikuzhiyile kolapathakam (not a single star but engaging suspense & decent direction), June (coming of age story of a girl after all the ones of boys we’re seeing; decent; Rajisha is good), Street lights (did not expect a Mammootty movie to be good, but this was decent), Aanakallan (decent suspense, Biju Menon was engaging as usual), Drama (very heavy; made me think a lot; was good but I don’t want to watch it again), Padayottam (decent Biju Menon flick), Maradona (decent direction; Tovino shines as we expect him to; like it more for the songs), Ramante Edan thottam (portrayed a married woman’s life well; her relationship with her husband is a failure & she meets someone who really connects with her; dialogues are beautiful), Takeoff (decent real life story of a nurse’s escape from Iraq), Thondi muthalum Driksakshiyum (Fahadh), Godha (Tovino), Ezra (Prithviraj as usual loses his wife & his head :D.. but I like supernatural), Jomonte suvisheshangal (very well-made feel-good family drama. Dulquar in his element; kids have watched this on repeat mode just like they did Om Shanti Oshana, Bangalore days and Ann Mariya Kalippilaanu), Velipadinte pusthakam (I liked this one although a lot of others didn’t; Mohanlal’s quirky drama; the jimmiki kammal movie), Njandukalude naatil oridavela (very nice subtle take on the serious drama of a household dealing with cancer), Punyalan Pvt. Ltd (Jayasurya reprises his role & I liked this better than part 1), Munthirivalli thalirkumbol (Makes sense as a person married for more than 10 years, much like the movie James & Alice which also made sense only coz of the same reason), Adam Joan (I really enjoyed this; theme is the same Rajappan premise– Prithviraj loses his wife as the story unfolds), Oru Mexican Aparatha (I liked this because it was produced & directed by my friend’s sister & hubby; it was the realization of their dream; decent movie, this is how Tovino arrived), Sunday holiday (decent family entertainer), Puthan panam (decent suspense), Alamara (family entertainer; I liked the 1^st half better), Sherlock toms (comedy & suspense; watchable).

Movies that are on my list to catch up on: Unda, Oru Kuprasidha Payyan, KGF (maybe I’ll catch the Kannada version of this since thats the original one)

Now I also want to record the time I wasted.

Movies I watched in theatre & cringed: Oru yemandan prema katha, Lucifer (this was a hit apparently!), Pretham2, My story, Ee Ma Yau, Sakhavu, Kuttymama (this last one was ok but I still wish I had avoided it)

Movies I watched at home (ok but wish I had avoided): Nine, Lonappante mamodisa, Argentina fans, Kayamkulam kochunni, Koode, Queen (just the one scene with Salim Kumar is to die for; the rest of the movie is .. meh...)

Movies I watched at home that have decreased my life span: Thattumpurath Achuthan, Johny Johny Yes Appa, Abrahaminte santhathikal, Kuttanandan marpappa, Mohanlal, Mayaanadhi (was a big hit & Tovino & Aishwarya were good, but I hate tragedies), Angaamaly diaries (this again was a hit & I cant imagine why; not my type - that's why), Parava (another hit; Dq, Shane & Arjun need a mention for their flawless acting but entertainment quotient.. :(), Rakshadhikari Baiju oppu, Solo, Ramaleela, Master piece, Comrade in America, Vimaanam, Kodathi samaksham Balanvakeel, Mikhael, Ranam, Oru kuttanandan blog, Pokkiri simon. The last 5 I gave up during the first half hour & so managed to save at least some of my time.

HINDI:

Secret Superstar: Watched this with my kiddos. It was long pending considering that my co-brother was following up on this for more than a year. But it was good. Wonder if this was the movie that led to Zaira Wasim quitting Bollywood.

Baahubali 1 & 2: Although this should be listed as a Telugu movie, I watched the Hindi dubbed version. I just loved the fairy tale & so did my kids.

Bareilly ki barfi: What an awesome movie! Light weight & still strong.

Raazi: Aalia Bhatt never fails to impress. And Vicky Kaushal arrived with this one.

Uri, Parmaanu: Both interesting movies but I hated the accreditation to the saffron power.

Andhadhun: Had me at the edge of my seat for the full time I watched it!!!! I was so stressed out that I slept 12 hours straight after, to recover. Awesome movie!

Sthree: It's such a beautiful movie when you understand all the subtle references it makes and the beautiful message it delivers.

Newton: Pure art. I needed patience to watch this one. Very intriguing & disturbing while being so close to reality. Rajkumar Rao proves that even if its Bollywood, if you are talented, you can make a mark.

Mom: Reasonably good suspense thriller. A lot of it has glaring loopholes but it's still watchable. The last one from Sridevi… so..!

Badla: Was ok but when I watched the Spanish original I realized it was much better.

Some overrated ones: Jab Harry met Sejal, Veere di wedding, Tumhari Sulu, Badhaai ho – with only the first one being a total waste of time.

ENGLISH:

Jumanji 2: I have always been a fan of Jumanji 1 since I watched it as a kid but it was scary & still is. I watched this one with my kids on our movie night & 3 of us bonded over that movie big time. It was one of our best ever movie nights! Dwayne Johnson radiates so much warmth. Really looking forward to Jumanji 3. I might just catch up on that in the theatre with my kids.

Wonder Woman: I’m not really a Marvel fan but I enjoyed this one. Gal Gadot is smoldering hot & I have a woman crush on her!

Widows: I loved the plot but as I started watching it, I got impatient & jittery with all the violence. I almost gave up on this movie but I’m glad I didn’t. Watched it in multiple iterations & the last part was when the movie really came to its own. It was a wonderful suspense & a beautiful ending.

Other decent ones: Mission Impossible fallout, Fantastic Beasts, Oceans 8, Aladdin, Kingsman 1 & 2

Ones that didn’t work: John Wick (too violent :( but I still love Keanu <3), Mummy (the Tom Cruise version totally failed)

TAMIL

96: Watched this one with a friend & we both ended up wondering why this was such a huge hit!

KANNADA

Ulidavaru Kandanthe: Heard rave reviews. I also like Rakshit Shetty. This movie was remade in Tamil with a Malayalam Hero Nivin Pauly. It was Nivin’s attempt at conquering Tamil cinema & it miserably failed. I can understand why. I also am part of the audience that could not identify with this movie. Too violent & too boring.

SPANISH:

Contratiempo: This movie I watched because of Badla. I really enjoyed it & it also led me to the next one.

El cuerpo: Awesome movie. Much better than Contratiempo. Suspense was out of this world.

And that's it for this marathon blog! :)

Break up Break!

I need to log this for future reference… just like I have a tattoo to remind me of some life lessons!

As my break draws to a close (I think..) here are things I’ve done… no!… accomplished during this time!

1.       Spent 2 entire summer vacations at home with parents. That is an accomplishment considering all the lectures & advice I had to put up with, taunts & jeers … & indirect references from relatives that I had to field AND all the housework I did! Its not something I enjoy but I did it! I did it for my parents & for my children. Part of it, I feel, I did for myself… but I’m not totally sure about that..

2.       Did not react to taunts on not being a ‘contributing member’ in my family! (Apparently money is the only contributing factor). O yes! Accomplishment! Now this is important because its easier to react than to not. Also, there are relationships that once are broken cannot be fixed. I have earned my way to a reasonably stable position among my in-laws & its more peaceful this way than to be right & to be heard!

3.       Used a lot of forgotten unattended stuff that I had accumulated over all these years. The accumulation happened because I bought things I thought I needed but didn’t actually back then. 😊 But I’m glad I did. It kept me comfy during the break. :P

4.       Handled the kitchen like a boss! 😊 Got compliments for all the food I prepared for my in-laws during their visits. Got my kids’ breakfast and lunch ready & packed, got them ready for school, fed them & took them to the bus stop every day on time on my own. No hubby, no maid. All the other kids had maids & 2 available parents & were yet running to catch the bus – almost 10 mins after the bus reached our stop! I’m definitely happy with this one! Nobody has credited me for this, I realized one day & I properly schooled my hubby about this! But men never listen… correction – married men never listen. – well at least not to their wives!  

5.       Completed a course that was loooooooooooooooooooong pending!! It was on my to-do list for too long & it was something that restricted my confidence at work. Although this is only the initial course & I have to gain experience & do the second part as well, I still feel more confident because I understand the subject better. I hope I get to complete this one in another 2 years. That will be my endeavor.

6.       Crocheted! Made scarves and caps & sweaters, gifted them, got compliments, gave lessons… This could be a whole new career option if I have more patience & if I can increase my crocheting speed. What was also quite heart warming was a compliment I received from my doctor sis-in-law. She said it was a great hobby and could help prevent dementia, thanks to the hand-eye coordination involved in crochet! 😊

7.       Finished a book! This was the most difficult and my most prized accomplishment of the break. It took me more than 20 attempts to get started on that one book and it was not until a couple of months back that I really started reading it. Atlas Shrugged! & so did my brain!!

I was a huge fan of Ayn Rand once I finished Fountainhead a long time ago. That was during another break about 10 years back. I told myself I will read Atlas Shrugged because it was the more famous one. My brain was too hyper to go beyond a couple of sentences each time I tried. In the end, I completed 1064 pages in 2 months! Am I thrilled or what?! Pat on my back. I’m proud of myself. The important thing is to keep going. The way I got started was by completing 10 pages a day at least. It required a lot of discipline and it worked. So, I have to take up other books now & keep it going.  Just got gifted something that I wouldn’t normally pick up but… I never read any of the books he gave me. At least this one I should! I owe it to you, D!

8.       Painted! 😊 Now this is a tricky one because I’m not sure if the fact that I painted is an accomplishment or that I just completed what I started. Nevertheless, its done! I love to paint but I don’t really have the skill to paint free hand. So, I got myself a paint by numbers kit and completed it. The framed version hangs in our front room now & I have to say, I’m quite happy with it.

9.       Discovered diamond painting, completed one & got my kiddos to complete another 2. One is framed in my bedroom and the other 2 are in the kids’ grandparents’ houses. I think I’m about done with that fad.

10.   Tried my hand at aari embroidery. Long way to go before I can do it at a decent pace but I did complete one piece of embroidery & it was appreciated a lot too 😊

11.   Finally got the ceramic wind-chime I wanted for so long & just started painting it. Put it on hold because of a mind block. Have to finish that next week.

12.   Got a convection oven & baked chocolate chip cookies!!! Yippeeee!!! Also made pizzas. Now the only part of this plan that’s remaining is to bake a cake. I have about 2 weeks of break left & I hope to catch up on this one.

13.   Restarted my blogging! Huge tick on that! 😊

Wow! Putting that down in words is almost therapeutic!!

To be or not to be... a housewife

Housewife! What a dreadful term. It somehow reminds me of housefly. 

'Desperate housewives' is another one! The name of that series seemed like tautology back then. I mean, if you're at home with only house work to do, you ought to end up feeling desperate?!... Or so I thought. Until I finally quit my job to be a housewife... & twice at that. Today I know a whole lot of 'housewives' who are not desperate & who are successful at what they do. I also realize that this will never be me. Period.

Science exhibition in school. My daughter wants a prize & so I have to make that happen, she says. She did win & when I went to her school (bent over with guilt) to check the items displayed, I was appalled. Miniature volcanoes, solar systems, robots… & what not… all credited to 5-6-7 year old somethings. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs to the school management – what? Are you nuts? Can you not see? Are you totally blind? This is all done by 30-40-50 year old somethings… parents/grandparents/outside agencies..? But school seems blissfully oblivious - as if I’m missing a circuit upstairs to even point out something like that. Hmm… so I think may be these kids are smart & its only I who have managed to produce a mediocre human being just like me. That was until I met a friend who knew about the science exhibition piece I’d made … because her daughter thought it was great. And this friend of mine tells me ‘So, you’re at home! That just explains how you get time to do such things for your child!’

Another month later I’m sitting for a PTM & I’m trying to explain to my daughter’s teacher that kids need to be independent & homework should not be assigned to parents. The bewildered teacher looks at me as if I’m from another planet while saying ‘Mam, you’re at home only no Mam?’!!! It really does feel like I’m from another planet. 

Fast forward another few months, there’s an inspection in the school. A new academic year has just started & so the display boards in the classroom are empty. How will the inspector be impressed? So, what does the teacher do? Well if it was the brain-dead me who was the teacher, I would proceed to teach the children & if I got asked any questions, I’d ‘try’ explaining to whoever it was, that the academic year had only just begun & charts will accumulate over the year. You see, that right there is why I’m an unsuccessful IT gal! 😊 But of course, since the class teacher was smarter than me, she asked the class for anyone with talented parents. Since my daughter is smart to recognize that as a cue to get into an influential spot vis-à-vis her teacher, she threw up her little enthusiastic hands… & so it was me the scapegoat (as it always turns out) who prepared a chart. I threatened my daughter that if I got any more such talent recognition, I would quit being a mom! ☹ Yeah! That definitely does not work!

What I have realized during my ongoing stint as a desperate housewife is that:

1.       I love my kids to death, but there’s a limit to how much I can be involved with them… as nasty a mom as I may sound. So, it’s better that I do something outside home – like take up a job… This for 2 reasons - one that its better utilization of my time and two that it’s a good reason to be restricted in the parenting part. ‘Chart anyone?’ … ‘O, your mom’s working! Its ok then’!

2.       I need much more money than just for basic survival - because there’s social media & the internet & because I’m human & I do get tempted. I thought through all the mind control & social media blackout etc. etc.  & had to conclude that it doesn’t work. ... not with me! I realized I cannot mimic Sadhguru no matter how many of his videos I see & there are a lot of unfulfilled dreams that I need to and can realize - only with money. As materialistic as I may sound, as long as I’m alive, I don’t think that is going to change. Have to reassess when I’m around 60-70+ years of age – if I do live that long

3.       People treat me differently when I work. This is not just true with school. Extended family, acquaintances… all of them treat me with more respect! Unfortunately, this is a reality!! The ‘housewife’ job has no respect. ‘You’re just at home’ is the tagline I get!

4.       When I have too much time on my hands, even activities I love, lose that element of magic & attraction. When I have absolutely no time, it gives me so much joy to even look at leaves in my garden for a minute! Definitely a mind thing but haven’t figured out a solution yet.

5.       Its hard to find friends to hang out with on a daily basis. This is killing! I cannot survive without f2f time with people I can communicate with.

Bottom line – I hate IT, but as long as I don’t have another career option that pays me decently enough, I desperately hope to get back to my IT life. I refuse to learn the lesson (of following your passion, doing what you love, & the insignificance of money) as I continue to struggle with FOMO and wiggle my way back to square one! 

Always with Me